


High Expectations

by angellwings



Category: Emma Approved
Genre: Dating, F/M, Family, Friendship, relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-14
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-01-19 07:47:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1461451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angellwings/pseuds/angellwings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma's opinions on the men who shaped her dating philosophy. Drabble series. Ongoing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mr. Woodhouse

**Author's Note:**

> This will not be the last one you'll see. I already have five written and I plan to write more as the series continues. I hope you all enjoy it and I hope I did Jane Austen and Pemberley Digital's adaptations some small amount of justice. Happy reading!

* * *

**M** r. Woodhouse

* * *

 **P** eople always seemed surprised to hear Emma say she planned to be single. She didn't quite understand why. Sure, she was a catch. She knew that, but she refused to let just anyone "catch" her. She had very high standards and so far she'd found that no romantic prospect had actually met them. So, what was the point? She could waste her time trying to find an eligible bachelor who met all her requirements or she could spend her time on something more worthwhile. Like improving other people's lives with her own exceptional taste and wisdom. It was one of those "If you can't do, teach" situations. So, her perfect match wasn't going to work out. That shouldn't stop her from helping other people find theirs.

Besides, it's not like she came to this decision lightly. There were many events that influenced her throughout her entire life. Starting, of course, with her own father. She adored her father. He had always been there for her. He very clearly loved her and protected her, but even she could admit (never outloud and to no one but herself) that her dear old dad came with certain…baggage. She was certainly no shut in but he'd kept her in on more than a few nights. He enjoyed the comfort of his home and since he was influential enough now to have his money and business come to  _him_ he was rarely forced to leave.

Their vacation to Italy had been the first one they'd taken in  _years_ , and even that had been hard fought and sorely gained. If Alex hadn't put his talents for "boring stuff" to good use and persuaded her father to go for practical business reasons the trip never would have happened. But he swooped in with spreadsheets and budgets from her father's international investments and scheduled meetings for her father while they were there. Sure the rest of her trip hadn't worked out, but without Alex she wouldn't have gotten her father as far away from home as she did.

She loved her father and she'd do anything to keep him happy but taking care of him consumed a lot of her time (and her heart.) Could she really afford to care about another man just as much? She was afraid a romantic partner would tie her down as much as her father already did. She took care of him happily. Really, she did, but sometimes the weight of his dependence on her felt suffocating. She didn't know if she could bear feeling that way about anyone else.

"Emma," her father called from his recliner. "What are you reading that has you so engrossed?"

She glanced down at the book she was pretending to read and then smiled at her father. "Pride and Prejudice."

Her father grunted before he looked over at Alex, who sat in the arm chair next to him. "Those poor parents. I worry enough with two daughters. I can't imagine worrying over five of them."

Alex smirked at Emma before turning back to her father. "I think we  _all_  worry about one of your daughters in particular, Mr. Woodhouse."

Emma glared playfully at Alex. "I can take care of myself,  _Mr._  Knightley. Thank you."

"Is that why you haven't done anything about how drafty your office is?" Mr. Woodhouse asked teasingly. "You're going to catch a cold one day, Emma." The second half was not teasing. He was sincerely worried about her chilly office causing her to come down with a cold.

"Dad, our offices are not drafty—"

"Not anymore they're not," Alex assured Mr. Woodhouse. "I took care of that weeks ago."

Emma's brow furrowed in confusion. "You did?"

Alex smiled kindly at her and nodded. "I did."

"It was the windows wasn't it?" Mr. Woodhouse asked. He then continued with a grumble. "I knew those windows were going to be a problem when Emma had them installed."

"I did have those checked like you suggested. However, it turned out to be our thermostat. It was broken. I had a repairman come to the office while the two of you were off having adventures in Italy," Knightley said with a wide grin.

"Thank you, Alex, I feel better knowing Emma has you in that office with her. You two always seem to take good care of each other," Mr. Woodhouse exclaimed before he dropped the subject and went back to reviewing the first quarter earnings that Alex had brought him.

Alex met Emma's eyes and smiled affectionately at her.

"Yeah, I guess we do, dad," Emma said as she smiled gratefully at Alex and then silently mouthed the words "thank you" to him. He shrugged as if to tell her it was no big deal. And maybe it wasn't to him, but it was to her. She mentally added "anticipates my needs" to her list of high expectations. If she were to ever settle down she would need someone with the ability to make her and her father's lives easier.


	2. Donnie Gaudio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Emma ever thought a boy was worth the trouble she’d been bitterly disappointed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is very short, but it is a drabble series after all. It also doesn't feature any characters you currently know with the exception of Emma. The next one will be longer, promise! Enjoy!

* * *

  **D** onnie Gaudio

* * *

 

 **T** he first time Emma ever thought a boy was worth the trouble she’d been bitterly disappointed. Not because he hadn’t returned her feelings. She was _Emma Woodhouse_ after all. But because of the _way_ he’d returned them. Sure, she was barely eight years old, but she expected the very best from everyone from a very early age. It never occurred to her that boys might be dumb _and silly_. Not until Donnie Gaudio. Donnie was fine when they were alone. He picked dandelions for her, gave her his good Halloween Candy, and always let her down the slide first.

It was when his friends came around that the problem arose. He tortured, teased, and ignored her when they showed up. It wasn’t cool to have a girlfriend when you were eight apparently. Not even one as stunning as Emma. Even then Emma didn’t have time for two faced wimps. She decided then and there that any other boy she was interested in wouldn’t be ashamed of favoring her. Maybe they wouldn’t always get along, but any boy worth the time should still prefer her to anyone else.


	3. James Elton

* * *

**J** ames Elton

* * *

 

 **W** hile she referred to him as Senator Scumbag and belittled him to Alex and Harriet there was really only one reason she knew Elton would never make her happy. He only wanted the Emma she allowed the world to see. He didn’t really want _her_. Which became abundantly clear by the way he stormed out when faced with her stubbornness and persistence. He wasn’t prepared for her flaws which Alex could have assured him she had plenty of. If he reacted so negatively to arguing with her than how would he react to seeing her in sweats while she binge watched the Own Network?

And Emma wasn’t always _Emma Approved_. Sometimes she was just _Emma_. Overdramatic and silly. What would Elton think of _that_ Emma? No doubt _she_ was more than he bargained for. Not that she cared what he thought. She’d never been interested in him. She didn’t want a politician. If she ever decided on someone it would be someone who’s private life was truly… _private_. Someone who wouldn’t put on a show for the world like she did. Someone she could truly trust.

And none of those were Elton.

There was a knock at her bedroom door and she looked up to see Alex leaning against her door frame.

“Hi,” she said softly as she pulled her arms inside of the sleeves of her cashmere hoodie and tucked her barefeet underneath her on the bed.

“I hope you don’t mind,” He said with a half hearted smile. “Your dad let me up.” He waited for her to motion him inside. She waved him in and then shrugged.

“It’s fine,” she said as she smiled at him with false brightness. She felt anything but bright right now.

He quirked a brow at her. He must have noticed. “Are you okay?”

“I’m great! Like a hole in one!” she said in an overly exuberant tone. She winced as the sound of her own voice hit her ears. She needed to work on her acting skills.

“A golf reference? Really, Emma?” Alex asked with slight amusement before he grew serious and continued. “Is this about Elton? This hiding in your room in your sweats situation?” He asked as he motioned to her less than perfect outfit. It wasn’t like her to lounge around in sweats in the middle of a gorgeous Saturday afternoon and he knew it.

“Sort of, I guess,” She said with a sigh.

“Are you ever going to tell me what _actually_ happened with him or—“

“Nothing happened, Alex. He found out I wanted to set him up with Harriet and then he fired me. End of story,” Emma told him quickly. It was _basically_ the truth.

“Emma, come on, you can tell me,” he assured her as he playfully bumped her shoulder.

She could. She knew she could, but she didn’t want to hear a lecture like the one she heard from Izzy. Izzy never lectured her, but it was clear she thought Emma should have given Elton a chance. Just the idea of that left Emma feeling empty and unprofessional. She closed her eyes and decided to just go ahead and tell him. Band-aid approach. If he were going to lecture her then she should get it over with now.

“He didn’t come to us for my services, Alex. He came for _me_ ,” Emma admitted quietly. She waited for the lecture. If Izzy had lectured her then surely Alex would too. That’s what Alex _did_. Constantly. Not that she didn’t deserve it.

But he surprised her. All he said was, “I see.”

“He did fire us—no, _me_ —because he found out about Harriet, but probably also because I rejected him. Not that I blame him, really. He wasn’t exactly discrete when I look back on it,” Emma said in a rush before she took a deep breath and sighed.

There was a moment of silence before Alex finally spoke again.

“But who hires a matchmaker and then tries to date the _matchmaker_? It would have been unprofessional of you to match him with yourself. Clearly. He should have known better,” Alex said as he sat down beside of her on the bed.

Emma blinked and looked up at him with her first beaming smile of the night. “Yes!” She exclaimed. “Exactly!”

Alex grinned sheepishly at her. “Why do you sound surprised that I’m agreeing with you?”

“I don’t know,” She said as she looked down at her hands as they rested in her lap. “I guess I expected a lecture. I deserve one.”

“I only lecture you when you need it, Emma. You don’t need a lecture right now. You know you made a mistake and I would never rub your face in it like that,” Alex told her seriously.

“Thank you,” Emma said softly before she covered her face with her hands and then spoke through them. “I still don’t understand why I didn’t see this coming!”

“I saw it coming, but you were so set on him and Harriet that I thought you might actually make it work for a moment,” Alex told her with a teasing chuckle. “You’re a force when you’re determined. Like a hurricane.” Their conversation paused and then Alex continued. “Did you ever think about it?”

She looked up at him in confusion. “Think about what?”

“Giving Senator Elton a chance,” Alex clarified softly. It almost sounded like he didn’t _really_ want to know.

“No,” Emma answered immediately.

Alex’s face displayed a combination of surprise and relief. “Why not?”

“He wanted my public image. Not me. You and I have had arguments worse than the one I had with Elton, but _he_ walked away. I didn’t fit the idea he had of me anymore so he was done. I’m not going to give up being single for someone who doesn’t even truly want _me_ ,” Emma said as she focused her gaze on the floor. Alex’s shoes didn’t match his belt. She made a mental note to tell him about that later.

“Good,” Alex said as he smiled down at her warmly. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“You are?” Emma asked with a relieved glance at him.

“Yes,” Alex said with a nod. He grinned teasingly at her. “You’d have him eating out of the palm of your hands and the last thing America needs is _you_ in control of a state senator.”

She gasped dramatically and glared at him before playfully punching his shoulder. “Take that back!”

“Never,” Alex said as he leaned away from her second punch. “Not when it’s the truth.”

Emma laughed softly and shook her head. “Okay, it’s _a little_ true.”

“Only a little?” Alex asked with a knowing glance.

She laughed and shoved him lightly. “You’re a jerk.”

Things never seemed quite so bad when Alex was around. How did he do that? She was certain she would never figure it out.


	4. George Wickham

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be prepared to be infuriated. But how can you not be when Wickham is involved?

* * *

**G** eorge Wickham

* * *

**S** he'd never met any of the Darcys but Alex knew them. He'd graduated in the same class as William Darcy. Her father had also known the late Mr. and Mrs. Darcy and had invested in Pemberley Digital very early on. So, you could say they ran in similar circles. She was bound to run into one of them sometime. And, she thought, it was better that it was Gigi Darcy than her brother. She was surprised, however, to see the tall blonde with the swimmer's body that Gigi seemed glued to. The grapevine she was tapped into had not mentioned Gigi having a boyfriend. Yet, clearly she did.

She was also glad she was away visiting possible schools to transfer to and that Alex wasn't with her like they'd originally planned. It meant he wouldn't feel obligated to introduce her to Gigi. Alex was acquainted with her, after all, and he was polite to a fault. He would've insisted on saying hello. But tonight Emma was in the mood to observe. She'd heard so much about Gigi. Hopefully Gigi knew less about Emma than Emma knew about her. Emma sighed and camped out on a barstool. College keggers weren't really her style, but she'd been invited by one of the sororities on campus and felt obligated to show up. If she did choose to transfer here then she didn't want to make anyone feel like they were snubbed. She did want to make friends, after all. Besides, she thrived in a social setting. She could make this kegger work to her advantage.

She craned her neck when she realized she'd gotten distracted and lost track of Gigi. She didn't see her anywhere.

"You don't have a drink," a voice said suddenly from the stool next to hers. She turned to see the swimmer Gigi had come in with sitting next to her. "Not a fan of parties?" He asked with a disarming smile.

"No, I love parties," Emma told him. "I just typically prefer a little less beer and a little more clothing at mine," she said as she motioned to the football quarterback as he stripped down to his underwear and jumped up on a table.

"I know what you mean," he said as he smiled easily at her. "I typically prefer something a bit…cozier."

On the word "cozier" he leaned toward her and placed an arm across the bar in front of her. He gently took her hand and placed a kiss on the back of it. "George Wickham at your service, m'lady."

He was much too charming and "cozy" for Emma's comfort. She did a quick scan for Gigi and couldn't find her amongst the other party goers. Shouldn't he be looking for his date?

"Emma," she said quickly as she pulled her hand from his. She didn't know why she left out her last name, but something told her he'd recognize it. And she didn't think her father's influence would be a good thing in this situation.

"Well,  _Emma_ , it's a shame you're over here all alone. A girl like you should have men falling all over her," George told her as his gaze swept over her legs. "I mean you've got me, but I expected more competition."

He leaned even closer and she warily backed away. "Didn't you come here with someone?" She asked.

"I did, but she had to head out. Her brother called," he said with a roll of his eyes. "I think I'd much rather be talking to you anyway."

" _I'd_  much rather be talking to someone who didn't have a girlfriend," Emma stated flatly.

"Who? Gigi?" He said with a scoff and a shrug. "She's just a little…project. It's not serious."

Emma felt a chill and she was certain it had to do with how calculated George's gaze appeared in that moment. "Does she know that?"

"She knows what she needs to," he said vaguely.

Her hands fisted and she felt a surge of anger on behalf of women everywhere. This is why she didn't date that often. For every one Prince Charming there were five evil poisonous frogs and she'd just stumbled across one. During the few moments she'd gone silent George had gotten her a beer.

"Here you go, Peach," he said with a wink as he pushed the beer toward her. "Live a little. Life's more than fine wines and gourmet food."

Her eyes narrowed on the red solo cup. Mr. Charming wasn't fooling her. But poor Gigi. She took the cup from him and then promptly poured it on him. She smirked triumphantly as it soaked his shirt and dripped downward. He looked at her in shock with his mouth agape.

"What the hell!" He exclaimed as his shock turned to anger.

"Find yourself another plaything,  _Peach_ ," She said with a flick of her hair and a wink. She left the party and never looked back. She would definitely not be attending this school. She didn't think this crowd was quite what she was looking for. Before tonight she'd been  _toying_  with the idea of giving up dating completely. Her list of expectations was so long that no one would ever be able to fulfill them all. What was the point?

And George Wickham had just made her decision for her. He was the straw that broke the camel's back. She'd yet to be in love and maybe that was best. A man would just tie her down. She didn't have time for the Wickhams of the world. Her dreams were bigger than that.


	5. Ryan Weston

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emma beamed at Ryan and Annie from across the room. The engagement party was a resounding success.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has taken me much longer to update than I anticipated. I apologize, BUT here is a new post! Enjoy!

* * *

**R** yan Weston

* * *

 

 **E** mma beamed at Ryan and Annie from across the room. The engagement party was a resounding success. Annie was currently showing off her ring to her large gaggle of cousins. Very few of Ryan’s family had been able to make it but they’d all sent very nice letters of congratulations and various tokens that communicated their support. The Taylors had shown up in force though. They filled a room like no one else could. The whole place was all celebratory joy.

It was contagious and it made her work easy tonight. She’d barely had to do anything. It only helped that the staff at this event worked like a well-oiled machine.

Ryan and Annie sat at the table in the center of the room to allow guests to seek them out with well wishes and congratulations. During a lull in the party Emma watched them interacting. Ryan leaned forward and gave Annie a secretive smirk. Her face immediately brightened and she laughed loudly. Emma didn’t pretend to understand the private joke they were sharing but she could appreciate what she was seeing. Ryan made Annie happy. Truly happy. She’d known Annie for years and she’d never seen her glow like she was now.

She radiated pure happiness and satisfaction.

It made Emma’s chest ache just looking at it. She didn’t need a relationship. She knew this, but there was something about Ryan and Annie’s relationship that she envied. Emma had never been as happy as Annie looked. She’d never felt that type of contentment with her situation. It was as though Annie knew everything was right in her world and she could finally relax.

Emma wondered, not for the first time, if there was _anyone_ out there that would be able to make her feel even a fraction of that. She didn’t need it. She would be fine without it. But still something in her yearned for it. She wanted to glow the way Annie did.

But she couldn’t picture the man that would lead her there. No matter how hard she tried. She wanted too much and no one seemed to fit the silhouette that had formed in her head.

“Why aren’t you out there basking in your success?”

She turned to see Alex standing beside her with a friendly smile.

Emma chuckled and sighed. “It’s not my night. It’s theirs. I would never steal Annie’s thunder.”

“I know,” Alex said as he handed her a glass of champagne. “But someone should tell you what a good job you’ve done. This is beautiful, Emma. You’ve really outdone yourself.”

“Thank you,” Emma said quietly. “My usual level of brilliance wouldn’t do for this event. This is _Annie,_ after all.”

She felt Alex’s eyes studying her. He could tell something was bothering her. He was trying to decide if he should ask her about it.

“I’m fine, Alex,” Emma said preemptively.

“You’re sure? You’re awfully…subdued tonight,” Alex said in concern.

“I’m just…thinking,” Emma said with a pensive sigh. “And maybe a little jealous.”

“Of Annie?” Alex asked with a furrowed brow.

“Of both of them,” Emma said as she turned to look at him. “Look how happy they are. There’s no one else in this room but the two of them. They’re really brilliantly happy. I don’t know if I’ll ever be _that_ happy.”

“I thought you’d decided to be single for all eternity,” Alex said as he attempted to do an impersonation of her voice and sighed dramatically.

Emma chuckled and bumped his shoulder. “Shut up.”

“Well, isn’t that what you said? That a man would just get in your way and cause you to lose focus on your career?” Alex asked as he took a sip of his own champagne.

“I did,” Emma said with a nod. “And I meant it. But I’m not an idiot. I know that means I’ll miss out on certain things. Romance is just so…exhausting if you never find the right person.”

“And you don’t think you will?” Alex asked curioulsly.

“I think there can’t be anyone out there who meets all of my requirements,” Emma said honestly. “And I refuse to settle for anything less.”

“Seems pretty lonely if you ask me,” Alex told her honestly.

“No, not lonely,” Emma disagreed as she smiled warmly at him. “I’ll always have friends.” She gave him a meaningful glance and smiled softly before she continued. “Won’t I?”

Alex nodded and clinked his glass against hers. “To friends?”

“To friends,” She repeated before they both took a sip.

Maybe she’d never have Ryan and Annie’s type of happiness but that didn’t mean she couldn’t find her own, did it? She could make her own version of it. After all, she’d always have Alex and that counted for more than she probably wanted to admit.


	6. John Knightley

* * *

**J** ohn Knightley

* * *

 **T** he Woodhouses and the Knightleys went way back. Sometimes, Emma thought, too far back. She knew too much about the Knightley Boys. For example, she knew Alex kept the same pants in his closet for far too many years and that he had a strange obsession with Joshua Trees. She knew John organized his socks by color and style and that he thought Tofu was a waste of space in any kitchen.

Both boys were far too practical for their own good in her opinion and she would never understood their need to go camping year after year. Alex, at least, had a little bit of a dreamer in him. Even if he refused to admit it. He was wary but when compared to his brother he was much more of an optimist. Alex liked to plan but he was willing to alter the plan if another, more profitable, solution was presented to him. He was flexible.

John was not. She loved John like a brother and she loved seeing him with Izzy, but she didn’t really understand him. Not the way Alex or Izzy or her father seemed to. She accepted him, sure. She knew what to expect from him, yes. But she didn’t understand him.

She was all about the power of positive thinking and doing the things that _felt_ right as opposed to the things _seemed_ right. John was the exact opposite of that.

However, he was loyal and dependable and very good at taking care of her sister and their adorable children. Izzy never wondered if they’d have everything they needed while she was staying at home and now that she was back in school she never questioned whether or not he’d find time to take care of the kids for her. He supported her completely. Maybe he was occasionally oblivious to other people’s feelings but what man wasn’t?

Hell, even _she_ was oblivious to other people’s feelings more than she cared to admit.

Of all the men that forced her to think she’d never find her prince among the frogs, John was not one of them. He was one of the men who helped set her standards so high. While she didn’t understand his quirks, she appreciated how steadfast and dedicated he was. She would be very fortunate to find someone who had even one of those qualities.

A throat cleared behind her as she held her sleeping namesake and she turned as much as she could without waking little Emma to see who it was. She smiled warmly at Alex as he waved quietly and sat down next to her.

“Hi,” Alex said softly with a smile.

“Hi,” Emma whispered.

“So John mentioned he wants to take Izzy out tonight,” Alex said with a pointed look. “And I thought, maybe, you and I might babysit to help them out. I mean, you’re already halfway there.”

She chuckled and nodded as he motioned to little Emma. “I guess I am. Sure, that’ll be fun.”

“I know they named her after you,” Alex said with a smirk. “But let’s hope she has more Knightley in her than Woodhouse.”

Emma rolled her eyes at him. “I thought Knightleys don’t _hope_. They _plan_. Isn’t that right?”

Alex shrugged and then smiled warmly at her. “We do hope for _some_ things, Emma.”

She wasn’t quite sure why, but she felt herself blushing under his gaze. “Like what exactly?” She asked with a teasing grin. “Do you have any examples?”

“I have one,” he told her. “I _hope_ that the people I care about are always happy and content and I do everything I can to make that happen.”

“Well, then maybe that’s the difference,” Emma said as she met his eyes. “It’s not that the Knightleys _don’t_ hope. It’s that you put action behind your hopes and it’s an admirable quality to have, Alex.”

“Are you complimenting me?” He asked in surprised. “Is the world ending?”

She chuckled and shook her head. “I have my namesake in my arms. I say and think all kinds of mushy things with this little bundle of joy to cuddle with,” she said as she smiled down at her niece affectionately. “Don’t get used to it.”

Those Knightley men certainly had more than a few interesting traits. She had to admit that the good ones certainly earned a place on her list of expectations and that list made it almost impossible to find someone worth dating. She wouldn’t trade either Knightley brother for anything though. They meant too much to her in very different ways.


	7. Frank Churchill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on Frank.

* * *

**F** rank Churchill

* * *

 

 **B** old. Strong. Confident.

Frank Churchill in three words.

Was it any coincidence that you could use those same three words to describe Emma Woodhouse? Probably not. She had to admit she’d been charmed by Frank, once upon a time. She’d even considered breaking her single pact for him. Ultimately though, she came to the conclusion that he was too much like her. As amazing as she sometimes thought she was, she would never want to date herself. That would be boring.

No, she needed someone different than her. Someone to complete her (cliché she knew, but it made sense.) Someone who would keep her grounded and let her know when to rein it in. Someone who wouldn’t be dazzled by her charm _all the time_. Someone who could handle Emma when she wasn’t _Emma Approved_. She needed someone who would encourage her to be more than what she already was.

And Frank would not do any of those things. In fact, the two of them together seemed to cause trouble, she thought as she reflected on recent events. They’d gotten carried away and neither of them had been thoughtful enough to censor themselves. A life of that would be cruel and vindictive. It would turn her into Caroline Lee. She definitely _did not_ want that.

Then there was his treatment of poor Jane and his making Emma an oblivious participant in that. He’d lied to her and about her and then flirted with Emma in front of her and generally talked badly about her. What man in love acted that way? No man she wanted to be interested in, that’s for sure.

She added the things she now knew she needed to her list of expectations. It’s funny how knowing someone _wasn’t_ for you showed you more than a few things you had no idea you needed.


	8. Robert "Bobby" Martin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on B-Mart.

* * *

**R** obert “Bobby” Martin

* * *

 

 **S** he was ashamed to say that her initial impression of Martin was shallow and incorrect and so terribly conceited. She saw his content with his situation as lazy and complacent and his quirky hobbies as immature. She’d deemed him unworthy based on qualities that were not important in the big scheme of things.

Of course, now that her mistakes over the last year had given her perspective she could see that. At the time, she saw someone who she thought would hold her new friend back. But that was not the case. No, now that she was no longer blinded by her own conceit she could see that he encouraged her. He valued her for exactly who she was. In his mind, Harriet Smith could do anything. (He wasn’t wrong.) Harriet needed someone who had unwavering faith in her ability and who was persistent in pointing that out to her. She needed someone who could be her confidence when she had none.

He was also remarkably at ease with the world. He had the ability to stop and live in the moment. Harriet was a busy person, like Emma, and she was also a very anxious person. Martin’s ease of spirit suited Harriet very well. But now that Emma had realized this, it was too late. Harriet had moved on to Alex. _Emma’s_ Alex. Though, he wasn’t really Emma’s Alex, was he? She’d also made that realization a little too late.

Seeing Martin again allowed Emma to understand why Alex had gotten along with him so well. Martin enjoyed life, he enjoyed his friends and his job. Martin was confident in who he was. He had no regrets and no shame because he knew what was important. Alex had some of these same qualities, Emma realized. Alex knew who he was and what he wanted. He knew what he liked and what he didn’t. He was persistent in his constant attempt to make Emma a better person, and though he occasionally doubted her intentions he never doubted her ability.

She didn’t deserve any of it. She knew that now. She’d been lucky to have Alex around for as long as she did. She was fortunate he hadn’t thought to leave her sooner. He could get a job anywhere and make more money than he did with Emma Approved and probably be much happier. Yet he chose to work with her and she had bitterly disappointed him. First with Martin and then with so many other things that followed.

She’d initially assumed Martin was unworthy of Harriet when in reality it was Emma who’d been unworthy of her relationships. She was unworthy of Maddie, of Annie, of Harriet, of Martin, of Jane, and even of Alex.

Well, she thought to herself, no more. She’d be the person Alex had tried to show her she could be. She’d be better and stronger. She’d be kinder and more considerate. She would listen instead of project. She would consider the happiness of others before her own. She would try to be more like the people she believed herself to be so unworthy of. She realized now she could learn a lot from the people in her life. They each had qualities she looked up to and aspired to emulate.

Starting now.


	9. Alex Knightley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts about Alex.

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**A lex Knightley**

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She couldn’t see him. She couldn’t. She couldn’t hear him say what she knew he wanted to say. Not now. Not after she’d finally realized…

She’d declared herself perpetually single because no man would be worth her time when he could never meet her high expectations. But she failed to realize one thing about her “expectations.” _He_ already met her expectations. No, that’s not quite right. _He_ exceeded them. And _he_ …was Alex.

Alex Knightley. How had she never seen it? He’d been there her whole life. He challenged her, encouraged her, supported her, and lectured her. He was the ultimate gentleman and thoughtful to a fault. Sure, he lacked a fashion sense and his haircut was a little…plain. But what did that matter really? And, now that she thought about, style wasn’t on her list of expectations. How had she never added that to her list? Was it because she always knew, on some level, who that list was really about? Could her feelings for Alex really be traced that far back? Had they been hidden in the back of her subconscious all this time?

Her chest clenched. Oh god, yes. That’s exactly what had happened. Every time she’d added something to the list she’d thought of Alex or been with Alex or been reminded of Alex. It was all always about Alex. And somehow she’d been blind to it for years. How had she not seen it?

And now it was too late. She’d lost him…to Harriet.

At one time she’d declared herself purposefully single because no man would do but now—now she supposed she was single because only _one man_ would do.

But apparently she wouldn’t do for him. But did that mean she would lose him completely? No, she didn’t want that. She needed to breathe and pull it together. Be a professional and a friend. One quick pep talk into the camera and she had herself feeling as though she could do it. She could face him. She could hear him say the words she dreaded.

But he didn’t. She sat there and waited for it. She closed her eyes and talked herself into a positive outlook but when she opened her eyes there were flowers. Flowers and sweet words and confessions of feelings she’d never dreamed he would feel. _But most of all flowers._ She stared at them and could barely comprehend what was being said. She heard every word and she committed them to memory but it was difficult to believe it all. But flowers… _flowers are romantic_.

She’d learned the hard way that you couldn’t argue with that.

The flowers were hastily set aside and she found herself doing something she never thought she’d get the chance to do: kiss Alex. Deeply and a lot. Over and over again.

And, as always, when it came to Alex her expectations were greatly exceeded.

No matter how high they were Alex always exceeded them. Old khakis and all.


End file.
